Sonic the Hedgehog 4 or Thoughts on Project Needlemouse

My 10th grade high school math class was kind of a joke. Mostly because I didn’t pay attention, because all I was doing was discussing video games with the guy next to me, Tom.

It was also kind of a joke because my teacher really didn’t care if we did our work, as long as we exerted some effort into the class, and of course we could do ridiculously easy projects worth a lot of points to make up for the lack of points that we didn’t receive on test scores.

One particular discussion, or rather idea that I had while talking to Tom was that grand thought that Sega and Sonic Team should produce a brand new Sonic game that was a gorgeous 3D side-scrolling Sonic game. We had expressed our disappointment with all the 3D Sonic games that were coming out. We both enjoyed the Dreamcast Sonic games, but still, something didn’t feel right.

I remember vividly fantasizing and discussing my ideas for the games, and the one thing that got me the most excited was if the game ever were to be released, it would most likely be called Sonic the Hedgehog 4. I thought that was cool.

Now almost six years with more terrible Sonic games than I could have ever imagined as a high school sophomore, Sega is finally creating a 2D Sonic game that will hopefully not blow.

Sega just recently announced that the game will only feature Sonic as the main character. Now if they can just seriously keep it to just 2D sidescrolling, and no voice acting, and no stupid soundtracks, then maybe, just maybe they can finally do it with Project Needlemouse, which is a dumb ass name that I feel only tries to make the whole thing seem serious and extreme, but that’s the fucking problem with Sonic, he has been too serious and extreme, and too cool.

He needs to lighten up, shut his mouth, be fast, save animals, and silently without speaking any words beat the shit out of Robotnik, that’s right Robotnik, not Eggman.

That’s a stupid name.

Good luck Sega, you have my blessing for the last time. You should really called the game Sonic the Hedgehog 4. Please. Needlemouse is lame.